Crossroads Corner: Legacy Part 1 (Saint)

I honestly don’t know where to begin. Part of me wants to start a few months ago, and the other part of me wants to start with a wonderful breakfast I was having with a friend. I’m going to see if I can tie them together.

Okay. So a few months ago I was eating my wonderful weekly dinner with my grandma and grandpa St. John. On my way home, I had stopped to get gas, and was thinking about the conversations shared and the people I was with. I was thinking about my grandparents and the wonderful and full lives that they’ve lived. I started thinking about how I cherish the time I spend with them, as at some point they will be gone, and leave behind their legacy. The word legacy was imprinted into my brain, and I was pondering it, and then thought what kind of legacy do I want to leave behind? I may be 24 (23 at the time), but the things I do today are all built into your legacy. Your legacy is a work in progress throughout your life. As this is all racing through my mind, I start singing and making up a song as I go. I grab my phone and press record, as soon as I'm done getting gas. Stay tuned, you may just hear a bit =)

Grandpa's Sherm & Irv

Fast-forward a few months. The weekend of my Grandpa Irv’s 83rd birthday was fantastic! Friday I had a fun “nerdy” movie night with friends, while the St. Johns, Schraufnagels and my parents went out for a lovely date to see Wizard of Oz. The following day was my Grandpa Irv’s 83^rd birthday. In the morning my Grandpa came over and had a nice visit with my mom and dad on the patio (1.5 hr) while watching golfers go by. After he left and some hours go by, we all find ourselves gathering at my Aunt Mj’s and Uncle Pooh Bear’s (Gary) house. What was really cool is my dad’s parents, Sherm and Lynn Moe, were able to come to the party, as they now live in Tucson. That was very special as my two grandpa's used to coach together and then one day my dad is asking for my mom's hand and the rest is history- so they're super good friends. At one point of the night Uncle Pooh Bear brought out a cribbage board and put it between my grandpa’s and said, “I’m just gonna put this here and see what happens…” Well folks, it happened, before you know it the boys were going at it and my grandpa won!!!! – I'll tell you which one in a minute. Soon it was time for presents. Grandpa Irv received some very nice gifts and then it was time for him to open Grandpa Sherm's. Here’s some background. Every afternoon my grandparents would have cocktail hour… which they call having a “bump”. Grandpa Sherm bought him a drink to help mix their bumps and Grandpa Irv was so happy, and said it was the best gift…then he said, actually the $0.35 he received from Sherm for winning the game was the best gift. They kid around all in good fun. After dessert, two-by-two the grandparents left to get home for the night. I normally get up and give the St. Johns a goodbye hug and kiss, but I was so tired and thought, I’ll see them in a few days. Remember, I said goodbye, I just didn’t get up. After they had gone, I remember thinking later that night, what if something happens between now and the next time I see them, nothings going to happen. Then we all went on with our nights.

83rd Birthday!

Fast-forward to the morning of Memorial Day; May 25, 2015. I was busy getting ready to get lunch with my dear friend Victoria, before I move back to the Northland. While getting ready I remember my parents telling me that Grandpa would be coming over to oversee my dad paint a door and hang out for a little bit. Before you know it I was at breakfast, chatting the morning away, sipping on hot cocoa, and awaiting the arrival of our food when I got a text from my mom saying, Heading to Banner Heart Hospital. Grandpa’s been taken in by ambulance. My heart started racing and my head spinning. I’m the girl who likes the thrill of an adventure as long as everything turns out ok. My dream was to be the weather girl reporting live from the hurricane or near a twister…you name it, as long as loved ones and I didn’t get hurt. Something like this has happened to grandpa before and it ended up being nothing, so I was hoping it was something like that again, where we can look back and say remember that time…Shortly after my mom texted me saying that they were registering Grandpa which usually meant everything was ok…at least we thought. So I finished my breakfast and headed to the hospital. After parking in the wrong section of the hospital, I ended up finding my way with the help of my mother. The rules were two allowed in the room, two in the hall, so I waited in the lobby as people were shuffling in. I was busy doing a devo when my uncle Pooh Bear walks by and I hear him say it’s not good, and then I eavesdrop on the conversation he was having on the phone with my cousin. I heard that he needed surgery and there was a 23% survival (since then I’ve heard 30% as well). Once my uncle was off the phone he explained what he knew, and I’ve talked to my dad as well. From what I understand he had an aortic dissection, which causes internal bleeding. I believe he had either the same thing (but not as bad) or something similar about 10 years ago. As soon as I heard that, I told my uncle I had to see him. Knowing that he may not survive the surgery and remembering that I hadn’t gotten up and hugged him goodbye on his birthday, I had to see him. We were afraid he was already in surgery, but when we got there, they were trying to prep him. He was going in and out of consciousness, and when he’d come out, he was wondering where he was and what was happening. I remember my mom being in there comforting him, and telling him that he had fainted while playing pool and the doctors were taking care of him. – I realize I forgot the detail of what he was doing when this started to happen. She was so kind and strong. I later found out that she’d ask him here and there if he was in any pain and his answer was no. I got in there and there were doctors working and wanting only two of us in there. I didn’t want to disrupt the doctors but wanted to give him a possible goodbye kiss and a kiss full of love. I took his right arm and gave it a big kiss full of tears, I remember seeing my mother by his hospital door capturing the precious moment. I believe once I left the room I ran into my daddy’s arms and just cried. Then we waited for them to prep.

Waiting. Waiting can be torture. I hopped on my Facebook, and posted on the college/young adults group I’m apart of with a prayer request. I also began texting many friends asking for prayer (I apologize if I forgot you as my head was spinning). There became a point when things were slightly better. My mom was by his bedside, when the beginning of the end began, and she knew it was time to step out. Our family was no longer in his room, but one close by. Prayers, discussion, crying, hugs were all some of the things shared. My dad was on the phone with D.j. trying to book a ticket when we were all suddenly called to the room that we were “camping out in” because the surgeon wanted to talk to us. We had barely sat down, when the surgeon broke the news. Honestly his words are all a blur to me, I can’t remember what words he used, I just remember my heart sinking and being in shock, and looking at my grandma. It was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen.

After a few antagonizing minutes we were allowed to go in and see him. I honestly was nervous, because I have never seen someone this close to the TOD. I’ve always seen people at a viewing. I can’t remember if I prayed or not, but regardless, God filled me with the courage to go in and sit down in the chairs they put out for us, with tears running down my face, and holding my mother. I was shocked. I remember just over a week ago eating with my grandparents and Grandpa saying how he had a great doctors appointment and the one thing I remember them telling him was to have less salad…I think many of us would like that. With that information I was shocked, and hearing grandma in there, telling him to wake up, begging him to wake up, broke me into pieces. I was heartbroken as a granddaughter who was close to him, but I couldn’t imagine the heartbreak Grandma Pat was facing, with the loss of a husband she’s had for nearly 60 years (this summer). I also couldn’t imagine what my mother was going through, as she was very close with her dad; they had a connection that I admired. I also looked at Mary Jean, and Judith was on the phone with us in the Grandpa’s room. I thought about his three daughters and thought of the love he had for each each of them and their's back to him, each unique in their own way. I thought of my brother, cousins and myself and how we all have a good relationship, and seeing the blessing I've had from living down here by him the last few years unravel. I think of my cousins two little boys who are lucky enough to have their great-grand parents present in their young lives, yet also remember the beauty of being a child. The time we had in that room was beautiful and heartbreaking, but there was definitely some beauty from pain (ironically, that’s one of the points from the sermon we had just the day before). The hardest part was getting my grandma to leave the hospital room and say goodbye.

By dinnertime, the family was streaming into my aunt’s house and my brother and Aunt Judith were both on their way. I remember sharing a hug with my cousin Blake and we shared a few words, and it was a moment I won’t forget. We were the cousins who would always be laughing; well he’d always be making me laugh hysterically, and for these few moments we shared in the same pain and love we had for our grandfather, and it was comforting, knowing we’re in the same boat and have each other’s back! We told stories outside, ate food, and eventually some of us fell captive to the “500 Questions” game show on t.v. It was soon time to pick up Judith and my brother. We picked my aunt up first and then went to get D.J. When I found out he was still getting off the plane, I raced upstairs, to wait, where all these people were waiting for friends and loved ones coming home (some very large parties of people). I was waiting in anticipation to see my brother and give him a nice big hug, as we both had a very close relationship with our Grandpa Irv, and knew we needed each other to get through this. It was probably only a few minutes waiting, but it seemed to take absolutely forever and then I got to see my baby brother and I was so happy and thankful.